Reflections

It has been quite some time since I have posted in here so I figured it is time for a new one. It is the day after Christmas and I am feeling much gratitude for being able to have a day dedicated to nothing but relaxing. The new year is quickly approaching and I am left reflecting on this past year I have spent living in Switzerland. The idea that I am living anywhere but America is still surreal to me. My brain allow me to think about it a little bit but not too often or it starts to over-analyze everything. Lol! This past year has been a roller-coaster of emotions for me but now I am settling into everything much better. There have been opportunities that have just fallen in my lap that I know could only have come from God. He has provided me with so many blessings it's unbelievable at times! I have been able to get involved in several things that weren't anywhere on my agenda but somehow they just came across my path. I am excited to be a part of such an amazing youth group here. To be able to be a part of a group and see where God is leading them just thrills me! The ladies group will be meeting again soon and I am also looking forward to that. They are really nice and it is so encouraging to be able to meet other people too. 

My biggest struggle has been the language. I have learned quite a lot of German since I have been here and speak it every day with the kids, but some days I feel like I will never live up to people's expectations of me. So many people feel free to give their opinion of how I should be learning, how I should be speaking and what I should not be doing. What is difficult for me is to hear so much criticism instead of being able to hear encouragement. I feel I have made so much progress, but it just seems to never be enough. There are definitely days when I cry myself to sleep because I feel stupid or misunderstood. Those are my "woe is me" kinda days. So pretty much you could tell me my fingernails are too long and I would burst into tears. I definitely try not to have to many of those days! But it just kinda surprises me how so many people feel free to criticize but not so free to compliment! Now mind you, there are definitely encouraging people here too. Don't get the wrong idea. I have people here who really make an effort to make me feel welcome and included and encouraged. These are the people I try to cling to ;) 

Enough about that. I am so looking forward to being able to visit the States in February. I don't know when the next time I will be going back after that so it will be nice to see everyone. I miss my friends and family a lot but I am grateful to the new friendships I have here. I really feel home here and can't imagine living back in the States anytime soon. I guess this is what it feels like when you finally find the exact place where God wants you. Even though I struggle, I just have this deep peace that comforts me and reminds me I am here for one purpose. To further His kingdom :)