Treasuring Life

I just got back from a weeks vacation in the mountains and it was gorgeous. I am actually not very fond of the snow but this changed my opinion. Actually there is something different about the snow in the mountains too. I mean its EVERYWHERE and super deep. However, it's not cold like you would think. I walked around in leggings and a hoodie and was actually warm at times. My cousin and I went to the top of the mountain and hiked down. I think it took us around 3 or 4 hours and I was completely wiped at the end but I felt extremely accomplished having not worked out in a long time and then being able to do something like that! I tell you what, I am not sure how anyone goes up to the mountains and doesn't believe in God. He is the master artist and the mountains prove that. GORGEOUS!!

While I was up there, I had some moments where I could really tell God was trying to get my attention on some issues. I tell you what, its very quiet up there and hard to miss His voice! First of all, let me just say that I am completely aware everyone and anyone could read this. Anything that I put on this blog is intended to be on it. I will never discuss personal/private matters about my friends or family on here because I believe that is not right. However, I will be completely transparent when it comes to myself with whatever God is telling me to put on here. I mean of course I won't be posting everything about myself because that is not necessary. I really do think it's important for people to see it's okay to be honest with yourself about yourself in front of others. Actually, I think its vital. How can I live the life Jesus has asked me to live if I am living in fear of what everyone thinks of me? I have chosen to live this life unafraid of peoples opinions, good or bad and I have heard both good and bad opinions from people about myself. I lived my life far too long always worrying what people are thinking. NO MORE! I am who God has made me to be and if I am living the way He has asked me to live, then that is all there is to it. I really feel God has asked me to make things He has changed in me public knowledge. This doesn't glorify me at all. It glorifies Him. It actually is not that easy to point out all my flaws and mistakes, but when it brings Him glory, that's when it can help someone and this DOES make it easier to share. It becomes less about me and my situations and more about Him and what He is able to do through people when they let Him. He made this quite evident to me in the mountains.

Another thing God brought my attention to was the verse Matthew 6:21 "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." This really made me question where my treasure was. When I finally got the internet in my flat I was so excited! I thought, finally I can catch up on all my shows I am missing! I tried the website, Hulu, which I always use to watch any missed shows. Well it turns out you can only use that when you are in America and my smart computer knows I'm in Switzerland. I tried the actual shows website. Same problem. I then had a slight panic attack. Oh my GOODNESS! You mean to tell me I can't watch any of the shows (and there were quite a few let me just say) anymore?? For at least a YEAR? Freaking out is a good way to put what happened. I was so upset. I told my mom and asked her what she thought and we were trying to figure out what to do about it. So when this verse popped into my mind, where do you think my treasure was? Yup. So I think that me not being able to watch those shows, although I have to say I am still unhappy about it, is probably one of the best things that could have happened to me. I mean I could honestly say I was really addicted to TV. All I have now are the movies I brought with me. So I have no choice really but to find something other to do with my time in my flat. Honestly, what would I be doing if I came here and then decided to live the same way I was living in the States? What would that accomplish?

So really ask yourself where your treasure lies. I don't say this in a condemning way at all because that is not how Jesus would speak to us either. All I am asking, is for you to really think about something you think you couldn't live without (shopping, TV, facebook...whatever) and try living without it for a day or 2 and see if it's really that important. You will most likely find you don't need whatever it is that you are clinging to and can then ask God to give you a healthy balance. It's not reasonable to say you will never watch another show or ever use the computer. It is, however, reasonable to make sure whatever it is doesn't become an obstacle between you and God. It really is always about balance. I think anything can become like an idol to us if we let it. Shopping isn't bad if it's in moderation and neither are any of the other things I mentioned. I hope this is making sense ;) Anyways, that's where I am at today. Missing what is left behind but grateful for God placing new things in my life. I hope this has ministered to someone today :)

Getting Organized

It's coming on 3 weeks now and I feel as though I have been here for already a year! I am really enjoying my time here so far. There have definitely been struggles and frustrations but God is so gracious. I already feel like I am at home here and can imagine staying. However, I will not make that decision after only 3 weeks…lol! I really am starting to see reasons for being here. I see a lot of hardness in people…even children. I smile at people on the tram and they look at me like I'm crazy. So I just keep smiling :) One of my cousins asked if people in America are happier than the Swiss because I am laughing and smiling all the time. I think the people are nice here once you get to know them personally but smiling at strangers is not common. I am really looking forward to how the children will act once I have been here for maybe 2 months or so. Right now they are getting used to me and as I can't really communicate with them yet, it's interesting. All but two of the children come from broken homes and only one is raised in a christian home. They are so adorable and I love being around children again. I notice sometimes that they seem like they want to get close but are afraid so they pull away. They are quite different than American children. It's funny because I didn't take that into consideration. I figured because children are children, they would be the same. But I guess the environment plays a big part in behavior. They are quite reserved…part of which I am sure comes from instability but I am already praying against that! Yesterday I had a breakthrough with the children. 2 of the girls (Laura and Alisha both 2 yrs old) were letting me feed them with no issues and then were playing with me and hanging on me…it was so nice! It has been really hard not having the children be able to understand me and not wanting to be around me since they are so reserved. Breakthrough was a huge victory!! I just keep praying whenever they push me away and try not to take it so personal (easier said than done) and that seems to help.

There have been several times I have seen that God really had someone praying for me at a specific time. I am so grateful for the prayers! I think sometimes we think that just praying is not doing enough but rest assured…there is power in prayer and it works!!! I was sad when Elizabeth left last week and was left on my own because it was such a blessing having her here, but it actually has been quite nice! I thought I would be lonely but I really am not. I am starting to enjoy the quietness and don't even feel like I have to put on music or anything. Just think and pray and think some more. My apartment is coming along quite nice and I am really feeling at home. I will be glad when everything is organized and finished so I don't feel like when I come home from work or school that I have to do something. I just finished painting this cabinet white and it took a week. I am so glad its finished and it was soooo worth it!

German school has been very trying. Trying my patience that is. The german teacher only speaks german and its really stressful. I think the lesson this wednesday was the best so far though because she taught us something that I actually feel I can use and its soooo helpful! I left with a smile on my face! I get nervous walking to the tram station after class even though its before 8pm and shouldn't be an issue. Its the only time I am nervous actually because every other station I feel has more people around and this one is kinda…eh. I walk super fast and sit clutching my purse tight. I really need to work on that I think. I know God will take care of me no matter what so I need to be more trusting and less fearful. There are always people around but its less than all the other stations. I am getting used to riding the tram everywhere and I quite enjoy it..unless I just miss the tram and have to wait 7 whole minutes for the next one. It doesn't sound so awful when I write it though does it? Wow. 7 minutes. LOL!

Ok I have to say one last thing and then go because I am going on ski holiday with my cousins tomorrow and I haven't packed yet. So there is this old man with a little white dog who lives in one of the houses I pass everyday on my walk to Claudia's house. I smile at the little dog and also at he when I see him. He looked at me strange at first but today he actually greeted me and looked like he was wanting to talk. As I was headed to work, I nodded and greeted him (of course I spoke wrong and used the personal german instead of formal…oops!) and then kept walking. I then felt really sad and asked God to give me another opportunity with him because I feel like I could have (tried to) say something else. Maybe all he needed was a "Have a nice day". Ya know? I was so bummed out that I missed out on that but am really looking forward to the next time I see him. I really was smiling the whole way to Claudia's after that because seeing him smile and greet me really made my day. Two breakthroughs!!! Woot! OK I have to go now :) I will be back in a week! Auf Wiedersehen!

First blog in Switzerland from 1.31.12

Where do I even begin to start…my brain is like butter that has been left out for far too long. It's 6:15am right now and I have been up since 5am. Sleeping a full night has been difficult. I have started to feel disconnected from what seems like (well…it is actually) "my former life" in America. I have not been able to use the internet in 5 days or call anyone besides my parents. I have not spoken with them for more than 15 minutes at a time…which has been like 3 times. Oh…actually I was able to call Jaci for a hot second. That was nice :)

It feels like I have been in Switzerland already for a month. Since I have been here, each day has been filled with things that need to be done in order for me to stay such as: Unpack (still being done), shop for furniture for my flat (almost done), open a bank account (if I were not a Swiss citizen, this wouldn't even be possible with everything going on between America and the banks here), buy internet access (which I won't have for 3 more days), start german school (we will get to that later), meet the children (adorable) and parents I will be working with, etc. I could go on.

Many things have been a source of stress since I arrived here but let me assure you, I serve a God of unbelievable peace and grace (both of which are being poured over me) and I will be fine. He knew how hard this would be even though my mind could not grasp it. He knew I would really need companionship and so He provided me with Elizabeth. She is here with me for the first two weeks and unfortunately, has seen my cry on numerous occasions. I honestly am not sure how I would be coping if she would not have come with me. We are able to walk around the city of Basel together and if we get lost (which only by the grace of God we have NOT!) at least we are together! What an AMAZING God! As I sit here typing, my eyes start to fill just thinking about how much God has truly blessed me. My cousins (Claudia and her husband Markus) have been absolutely wonderful to me and are really happy to have me here. Their daughter, Jasmin, is so excited I am here and makes me feel really special.

I had probably the worst day ever yesterday (Monday) as I had to go to German school by myself for the 1st class (yes…I had to start after only being here for 4 days) and take the tram (sort of like our subway but its above ground and waaaay cooler) all by myself. I missed the tram FOUR times. By the way, thats every time I had to get on a new tram. Not once did I make it in time. Then, I get off the tram and have no idea where I am. I prayed for God to guide my feet and He most certainly did. I wanted to turn right but my feet took me left. Really strange…really God ;) Once I arrive (20 minutes late), I find out that there will be NO ENGLISH spoken in the class…just German. Anyone who knows me, knows I need LOTS of explanation. I sat through the class staring at the lady as she asked me questions I could not answer because I had NO IDEA what she was saying. I said America, she said USA (which sounds like "oo s ah") as they don't call it America because that includes South America. So what did I do when I arrived at Claudia's for dinner after class and after missing the tram a few more times? Burst into tears. Again. Did I mention a man approached me at one of the tram stations and freaked me out? Yep.

Let me just say, I have learned how to pray and trust God more than I ever have before. I can't imagine being here and going through all of this without his amazing power in my life. He has the ability to turn my tears into praise songs. He helps me focus on the positive things that have happened since I have gotten here instead of the negative. He focuses my sight on the future and not the present. May the joy He has given me be absolutely contagious to all who cross my path (which they really need here). I miss all of my friends very much but I think this time of separation from everyone in America has been vital to me accepting everything going on around me here. However, I cannot wait until I can communicate with everyone again!! I can't even post this blog right now! As soon as I can connect to the internet, email, Facebook and Skype…here I come! Lol ;)

By the way, my flat is coming along and is super cute. God really stretched the money I had set aside as I have been able to buy a lot with a little :) I will be posting pictures soon. You know how there are no closets in Europe for the most part? I ended up with a flat that has the biggest walk in ever! Ok…not the biggest…y'all know I can be dramatic…but it's an awesome size for sure :) Just the fact that I have one is amazing! My uncle actually made it himself :) Also, I am going to be thin in no time…these stairs are killer! My legs are slowly getting tighter and stronger. It's awesome…unless its 10pm and I feel like crawling into bed instead of up the 6 flights of stairs. Anyways, This is the longest blog ever but I hope it has made some sort of sense and helped you guys feel connected with me and what I am dealing with! Prayers are much appreciated. I am going back to sleep for a bit. Night!